bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It was a blind-side dick pic.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
