glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
i think my cat just said my name.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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