i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
