FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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