Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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