You're my little dorito
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
