I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
