Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
