i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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