i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
