I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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