You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
What a dumb baby whore.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Alive.
So much puke
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
