I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
