the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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