How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
