i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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