Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
