mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
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Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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