When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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