oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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