the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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