this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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