i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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