i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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