I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
