Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
