I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
