two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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