Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Use "feeling words"
Yay
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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