There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize