Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
