Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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