just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize