I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
