He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
