If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
