you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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