i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
