wakey wakey hands off snakey
Do vagina's smell?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
