life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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