The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
