just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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