You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
