It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
