Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize