do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Panties = found
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
