She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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