I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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