Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
