yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize