Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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