I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
