Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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