I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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